Thursday, June 02, 2005

"Out, out damn spot."

A pastor friend of mine collects Jesus kitsch. Because I know he's always looking for absurd examples of religious piety gone awry, I keep a look-out for things to add to his collection. He has a wide variety of stuff from a bobble-head Jesus to "Angel Snot." I recently came across "Wash Away Your Sins Towelette." The print on the bottom of this tear away towelette package reads: "Anti-bacterial formula Kills Sins on Contact." On the back of the package the directions for use state:

1. Remove moist towelette
2. Devoutly wipe away wrong-doing
3. Spot check for stubborn guilt
4. Wipe again as needed
5. Discard sins in waste recptacle
6. Go forth purified and moisturized

On a few occasions I've been tempted to try my "Wash Away your Sins Towelette" that sits on my desk. Oh, that wiping away my sin would be so easy. I could carry a number of these towelettes with me so everytime I sin, I could clean up the mess without muss and without fuss. When I see other people sin, I could gently approach them with a towelette and a smile saying, "try this, you'll be glad you did." The more people who use the "Wash Away your Sins Towelette" the better off we all would be. The weight of guilt that many people carry around with them would be lighter. And like the directions say, many more people would be able to "go forth purified and moisturized."

Since our human propensity for sin is likely to be with us for the foreseeable future, "The Wash Away your Sins Towelette" is a perfect gift for angst ridden Lutherans, as well as naval-gazing Baptists, and everyone in between. I wonder why God never thought of anything like this?


At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Streetwise said...

Here's a link to something that every pastor ought to have in their study:


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